Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Size Friendly Doctors

I have been reading my Big, Beautiful and Pregnant and Your Plus Size Pregnancy books. They have me freaked out about choosing a size friendly doctor. I had a terrible experience in Miami with this issue...

When I lived in Miami and went to see an OB for consultation before we started trying to conceieve. The Dr in Miami got very upset with her receiptionist when she saw me because she didn't see patients over 250 lbs and her receiptionist knew better. Then, the Dr continued to lecture me about diet and exercise and how she will not treat me because of the weight. I was seeing her practice partner as my GYN and vowed to never step foot in that office again. I was upset, defeated and embarrassed.

So, when I called to make my appointment with the OB here in Pasadena, I forgot to mention that I was a fluffy woman. I got nervous and decided to call them this morning to confirm the Dr sees overweight patients.

I asked the receptionist if Dr. sees overweight patients. She was confused by the question, so I asked her if he has a weight limit for the patients he sees. Again confused, she got someone else on the phone with me, who was also confused by the question. I had to explain to them that I am overweight, and had an experience when I lived in Miami, that the doctors wouldn't treat patients over 250. She thought I was off my rocker and nuts. She said no, the doctor doesn't have issues treating heavier patients and see you on May 20th.

So I hope this means he is size friendly. We shall see May 2oth. I will report back. :)

Sick and random thoughts

I woke up this morning with a terrible head cold. Eyes glued shut, green snot, stuffed nose, sore throat and I am hacking up some nasty bright green stuff from my chest. This is not good.

On the positive side, my nipples don't hurt so much anymore. I don't think I mentioned it before, but hurt so much for the past 4 weeks. Just the nipple, the rest of the breast was fine.

I also notice that oranges and orange juice makes my tummy burn a bit. I am drinking the oj to help combat this cold. I only drink a glass a day, but it is not fun afterward. I noticed the same thing when I ate oranges yesterday for my late afternoon snack.

Today is my 2nd wedding anniversary. Daniel and I are both in bed, typing on our laptops. How romantic! LOL!) I am fighting this cold and he is lovingly by my side to support and help in anyway. He really is an amazing man and I love him more every day. Happy Anniversary Sweetie!! I love you!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Gas, Gas, Gas

April 24, 2009 - I took another test first thing that morning. I had to make sure again. Yup, it was another plus sign. This will probably never get old. LOL!

I gave my mom a call on the way to work and told her the news. I think she was shocked more than anything. Not overly excited as I had imagined. Then again, I have been so cautious about this too, that I haven't exactly been doing jumping jacks. I think I am still in shock too.

She eventually came around and called me throughout the day, showing more and more excitement with each call. She agreed to keep the secret until I can tell the rest of the family, and to keep the secret from friends until I got the go ahead from the Dr. and knew I was in a safe zone to tell everyone.

Throughout the day, I was able to get calls in to my brothers and sister and let them know they were going to be an aunt and uncles. They were happy.

On the symptoms front, no nausea today, but I have been having the worse gas. Burps and toots. It has really been going on for a few weeks now. I am cutting farts left and right. It is pretty gross, but I can't help it. No matter what I eat or drink, I have gas in one way or the other. I am going to be the stinky girl at work if this doesn't stop after a while. It is hard to hold it in during meetings or when I am in the office. I am constantly excusing myself. People must think I have the smallest bladder in the world. LOL! Even worse, sometimes they just slip out. Luckily, my new shoes are squeeky and I can blame the noise on them. LOL!

On the food front, I have been eating pretty healthy. I have continued to eat a lot of fruit and veggies and salads with meals or as snacks. I am opting for fruit as my side dish rather than fries, chips or something else. We had a party at work today and I ate a piece of cake. The sugar made me sick. I don't think I like sugar anymore. Could this be possible? I could come home and eat half a tray of brownies for dinner, and suddenly I don't like sugar? It is like a sugar switch has been turned off. Even the thought of sugar makes me a little queasy. This is GREAT!

I am getting back in the habit of logging all my food into my journal at I want to go to the doctor prepared. I know that some doctors prejudge woman of my weight and will give me the lecture about gestational diabetes. I want to show him how committed i am to the baby and want to take care of myself and him/her. (Also known as Holly or Ringo)

The Next Day

April 23, 2009 - I couldn't sleep last night. I was so conflicted. What if it was true? What if it wasn't? I can't be non-chalant about this, I COULD BE pregnant!! I tossed and turned and noticed I have to get up a lot to pee during the night. I have been doing this quite a bit lately, actually. Hmmm, another sign??!!

6:00am rolls around and I couldn't take it anymore. Daniel was asleep. I threw on some sweats and ran out the door to our local CVS. It is open 24 hours, and is around the corner. I held my first morning urine so I could take this new test and see if there was a change in plus sign status. I picked out the Clearblue Easy 3 pack test, old fashioned, with the plus sign. I don't trust the digital tests and they are more expensive. I get in my car and am back home by 6:30am. I rushed to the bathroom and tinkled on the stick. It seemed almost instantly I saw a plus sign!!!! YIKES!!!! I ran out of the bathroom and woke up Daniel. He smiled and asked if he could be excited yet. LOL!

I told Daniel he could go ahead and tell his family. I couldn't keep this secret and I did promise his mom would be the first to know. I didn't want to tell ANYONE outside of immediate family until I knew for sure and that I was in a safe zone to tell people. I have to get a doctor to confirm this. It's super early. I am probably only 4 weeks at this point. How was I supposed to concentrate at work today? I had a full day of meetings and wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with any of them. I am dying to tell the world, but am also really cautious because I still don't believe it.

Daniel was great this morning. He got up and made me breakfast. An english muffin, a glass of OJ and brought me the folic acid vitamins I was taking a few months back.

I got dressed and headed into work early. I had lots to do. Like find a doctor! Coincidentally, my boss is about 7 months pregnant and has a great OBGYN. She has been ordered on bedrest this week, so I gave her a call at home. She was super excited for me and gave me the number immediately. She did warn me that the OBGYN group won't see anyone until they are at the 8 week mark. Uhhh, I was going to have to wait 8 weeks for confirmation? That was going to suck. I wanted the confirmation so I could start telling everyone.

I called the doctor and make the appointment. They asked me what was the first day of my last period, and I guessed it was around March 23rd. They calculated my 8 week mark should be around May 20th and scheduled my appointment for then. There is no way I can keep this secret for that long! I was going back to Miami to surprise my mom for Mother's Day on May 8th and wanted to break the news then, in person. But I won't have confirmation. Then again, if I didn't have a period by May 8th and my tests still come out positive, I think I would have pretty good odds that I was preggers. LOL!

I went to work and shared my secret with Sherri, by bosses executive assistant. I needed to tell someone and in the event I got sick or something, she would understand why. With my boss on bed rest, I have been helping the team fill in. I didn't want her or my boss to think I was flaking out or something. Sherri convinced me to tell my mom sooner rather than later.

Work was crazy busy as usual. I wanted to tell everyone, but kept my trap shut. I did have two slight spells of nausea. Very short, but did make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I could feel my throat get dry and the saliva thicken. I am going to have to bring snacks to work. I am still peeing like crazy, but I am also drinking a lot of water.

I came home from work, tired but still excited. Daniel had called his mom and she almost cried on the phone. He didn't tell his brother and his girlfriend yet, so we revealed it after dinner. They were very excited for us.

It was getting a little more real to me now. I slept better that night too. I did wake up early though and got up to tinkle a few times. I keep walking past the pregnany tests to make sure they are still positive. I know it is nuts, I just can't help it.

No way, I don't believe it is a plus sign!

April 21, 2009 - I have been expecting my period any day now. It's been strange, I usually have my sweets and salty cravings a few days before my period starts, I of course get very randy the day or two before as well. Nothing. My hubby commented on it as well, he has been waiting for me to jump his bones as usual this time of the month. LOL! Do we think this could be it? Of course, I deny it immediately. No way. I have been down this path too many times the past two years. One slight sign of possible pregnancy, excited as can be, I rush to take a pregnancy test, and nothing. Just another big disappointment. I am too lazy to do the math and see when my period is expected. I don't track it in a calendar, and just know around the 20 something of each month I have a visitor. I vow not to take a test until the end of the month, that way I know for sure that I am late and it could be a possibility.

April 22, 2009 - I think the weather has been effecting me. I have been super hot all week, but husband insists it isn't that warm. He turned on the AC and set it at 68. I refuse to let him touch me because he radiates heat. If my brother in law and his girlfriend (5 months pregnant) weren't staying with us, I might have slept in the guest room. It gets cooler in there.

I came home from work and reviewed the day with the hubby as we were getting ready for bed. I did notice at work today I had a brief spell of nausea. Only lasted about 10 minutes. I got over it and continued on. I also have noticed how completely tired I have been this past month. Hmmmm, that's a coincidence.... I DO have that one last pregnancy test stick under the sink in my bathroom and I do have to tinkle... What the hell, it'll give me the chance to throw that box out now.

Ummm, I THINK that is a plus sign. Can't be... It is really faint. Maybe I am just imagining it. Maybe I want this so much, my mind is playing tricks on me. I have to ask the hubby. I didn't tell him I was taking the test. I don't want to get his hopes up. I must prep him before he sees it.

I called Daniel to the bathroom to show him something. I stopped him at the door and told him that he was under no circumstance to get excited about what I was about to show him. I don't think it is right, but need his opinion. Of course, he immediately starts smiling and doing this thing with his lips whenever he gets excited or sees something he likes. (It's a slight pucker of his lips, so cute! He doesn't even realize he does it.) So I show him the test and he sees the plus sign too. I am in total denial. I emphasize no excitement. The test stick is old, maybe it isn't accurate. It's 10pm at night and it was our last one. We were whispering because the in-laws are here and I don't want them to hear.

I left the test on the bathroom counter and we settle into bed. I told Daniel not to say anything to his brother and tomorrow on the way home from work, I will stop at the drug store to buy another box of tests.