Friday, November 13, 2009

Still Here

I am still still alive and relatively well.  Just been so busy at work and preparing for little Holly's arrival that I haven't had 5 minutes to write or read any blogs.  I hope to catch up this weekend.

Health wise, everything is good, with the exception of a newly developed acid reflux from last night.  I haven't gained much weight and the doctor seems to be happy with my progress.

I do notice that I am much hungrier now than ever before.  If it doesn't move it is fair game.  Really hard for me to control my eating.  I am going to have to stock up on the fruits and veggie trays this weekend for mindless munching.  I can't go through another sleeve of Pringles like I did yesterday at work!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

32 Week Appointment

By a miracle, I didn’t gain any weight this past month. The doctor was very happy and I was relieved. According to my scale at home, I had gained 3lbs over the weekend. I was perfectly maintaining weight all month, until this past weekend. I was sweating it out, but the doctor scale smiled upon me today. I didn’t even have to bribe the nurse!! LOL!

Today’s visit was just the usual measurements and listening to the heartbeat. She is perfect and beating at 146bpm. The doctor was very happy with that. We talked about my freak out episode last Wednesday and he laughed a bit. He agreed it was just paranoia.

TMI – She has been sitting on my bladder full time for the past 6 weeks. Feels like intense pressure on my vagina. It hurts when I walk, sit, stand, try to move in bed, lift my legs, put on my pants, socks, shoes, you name the activity and it hurts. Not a make me want to cry and take pills kind of pain, but a severe discomfort pain. I constantly feel like I have to pee, even when I don’t have to. So it is getting hard to determine when I really have to use the potty and when it is just my precious sitting on my bladder. I mentioned this to the doctor and he said the only relief for that is delivery. Oh Boy! Another 8 weeks of this! LOL!

The other important conversation we had was what to do if the baby doesn’t come by my due date. My biggest concern is not so much having the baby by the holidays but the lack of support I would have at home. My mom and sister are flying out from Miami specifically to help me those two weeks of Christmas. If I am a week late, I will only have the extra help for a few days. I am petrified of having this baby and being all by myself, without a support system. (Hubby will be home, but also working part time.) God forbid I have a c-section and have recovery issues and am by myself. I had to ask if he is willing to move things along if she hasn’t made an appearance by the due date? He said he is fine with my delivering the baby at 39 weeks or after, as long as my cervix looks good and is ready for delivery. So, new prayers are in order for a good ripe cervix at 39 - 40 weeks! Cheers!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Meltdown and The Patient Husand

Paranoia set in pretty hard this week for me.  Since Wednesday, I hadn't been feeling well.  No real symptoms, just feeling off.  I think it was just pure exhaustion.  I have been so dedicated to work, and not getting enough sleep.  (Still having those half night sleep sessions.)  I had noticed that I hadn't been feeling the baby move as much on Wednesday, at least not with the intense movements where I can see her kicks jump my belly.  I mentioned it to the hubby, but he brushed it off as my imagination.  I did spend most of the day sleeping and probably was too tired to notice anything.

That night, I woke up at 3am with full on set paranioa and was headed straight for a meltdown.  I was convinced she wasn't moving and something was wrong.  I got out of bed, walked around the house for 15 minutes, drank a glass of OJ, hopped around, did whatever I could think of to get her to move.  30 minutes later, nothing.  I panicked.  I went back to bed, in fits of tears and the hubby woke up.  The trooper that he is, got out of bed to help calm me down.  He has to be up in 2 hours to get ready for work.  He was so patient with me, even though he thought I overreacting.

We both read in one of our baby books that the babies respond to light in the womb, so he got up and found our heavy duty flashlight and started shinning it on the belly.  NOTHING.  Daniel poked and jiggled and squished my belly and nothing.  I was lying on my side, convinced that since I was sleeping on my back that I cut off her circulation, so doing anything to restore her oxygen supply.  Daniel got me a glass of ice water and I chugged it down.  Almost immediately, we started feeling some taps.  Nothing intense, but a few little movements to let me know she was okay.  It was the most stressful hour of my life.  Daniel said the next purchase this weekend was going to be one of those at home heartbeat dopplars.

Normal people would have called the doctor right away, but I wasn't sure if it was me being paraniod or not.  I couldn't remember for the life of me when I felt her last.  Damn that failing pregnancy brain and memories.  I can't remember anything.  Daniel was sure that he said I was feeling her move when we went to bed.  I didn't remember that conversation, but that doesn't mean it didn't take place!  So needless to say, I recommend recording or journaling movements as often as you can, so you have something to refer to.  I announce to the hubby whenever I feel movements and the time, so he can quote me back later.

The next day, Holly was back to her very active and intense kicking, hiccups and yabba dabba do time.  She has been that way all weekend.  We did go to BRU this weekend and bought the heart dopplar.  We couldn't really hear anything but a couple of beats and then swooshing.  The box said it would it be a very faint sound, and could only be picked up if the baby was in a good position. It also mentioned your body weight may have an affect on the readings as well.  So I wouldn't bother wasting the $25.  It was the cheapy Graco model. 

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Hi Friends,
Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give you an idea of what we experienced on our TTC journey. 

One of the things that bonded Daniel and I together so quickly was the fact that we wanted to get married and have kids as soon as possible. We were not afraid of the commitment and we were in a good place in life at the time. We still lived in Miami, both had great paying jobs, and making plans for saving for our first home. It was a picture perfect life, minus the baby.

One month after the wedding, I went off birth control. I was on Depo Provera, also known as the birth control shot, and had been on for only 6 months, since I met Daniel. I had used Depo Provera before, with a previous relationship, which ended, as did the shot. I heard many horror stories about the shot and TTC afterward. Typically, it could take up to 18 months after stopping the shot to get pregnant again. It takes that long to work the hormones out of your system and get your reproductive organs moving again. I didn’t think it would be an issue for me, as when I went off it the first time, my periods returned to a regular cycle 3-5 months later. I had only been on it this time around for 6 months, how much damage could it really have done? Little did I know….

Preparation started, buying pregnancy books for plus size women, baby name books, taking the vitamins, and fantasizing about our future bundle of joy. My periods regularly returned within 3-4 months and I was super excited. I was clueless that even though my period returned, I wasn’t ovulating.

For the 6 months, I would take a pregnancy test at the slightest possible symptom of pregnancy. I was obsessed with it and should have bought stock in the company who makes Clearblue Easy test kits. Each time a negative result and the next day or so my period would start; a disappointing reminder that we were not pregnant.

I went back to reading my pregnancy books and realized that I need to make sure I was ovulating. I read that I was supposed to experience an egg white type of discharge at ovulation, which was a good indication of when we were supposed to be trying. I remembered getting this type of discharge years ago, before birth control, but nothing since going off, either time. So I bought one of those Clearblue Easy Ovulation Kits and on a daily basis, was supposed to test to see if I was ovulating. The first month, I was pretty consistent and realized I wasn’t ovulating. From that point on, I kept testing my ovulation, but not daily, as instructed and got tired of watching.

At this point, we were coming up to our first year of marriage. I decided that a year was enough of trying and it hadn’t happened yet, because of the shot I was on before. I would stop taking ovulation tests and stop taking pregnancy tests every month, until I hit the 24 month mark. If after 24 months, we still didn’t conceive I would go to a Repro Endo and get tested for PCOS and infertility. Another reason why I thought it was a good time to not obsess was because we were about to make a major life move, across the country, to California.

In July 2008, Daniel and I packed up our little place and moved ourselves and our lives to California. I was offered an amazing job and was ready for a new adventure. This also meant we were no longer living the perfect life we had back in Miami. Daniel wasn’t able to find a job for a year after we moved. Money was tight and dreams of home ownership were put off for 5 years. The cost of living, being so far away from friends and family made the thought of having a baby on our own super scary.

Fast forward 6 months after the move and one day, I noticed the egg white discharge! Holy Smokes, it this what I think it is??? I immediately went home after work and attacked my husband. We got really excited, and took the test right when my period was due and NOTHING. Uhhh!!! But at least I know I was ovulating!

We kept trying each month, when I noticed the discharge and wasn’t successful. I decided to keep trying, but to continue to not obsess with taking the tests. To keep our mind off it, Daniel and decided to start working out and eating right. We had all kinds of exercise equipment lying around the house and I got a brilliant idea….

They say when you are TTC you should raise your hips, prop up on a pillow, keep your legs in the air, etc. after sex for several minutes to help those swimmers get to their destination. I tried it all, but never worked. One night in March, I decided to try something new; using our stability ball. Daniel brought me the giant blue stability ball, and I propped my legs up on it and raised my hips. I was so comfortable in that position, that I stayed there for 45 minutes while watching tv and snuggling with Daniel. We were laughing at my hair brained idea, but it was worth the try.

Well, I gotta say IT WORKED! It was towards the end of April, when I Daniel noticed I hadn’t gotten my period yet. He became the calendar for me, so I wouldn’t obsess. LOL! My brother in law and his pregnant girlfriend were staying with us for a week and Daniel and I had baby on the brain. I had resolved to not take the test until our 2nd wedding anniversary, April 29th. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought I could be pregnant. I did have one lonely test in the cabinet and what was the harm in trying.....No Way I Don't Believe It Is A Plus Sign can tell the rest of this happy ending. :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Hi All,
I have had the past two weeks from hell.  Working 15 hour days, most days and on off times just collapsing and resting. My feet are super swollen and I have been eating like crap the past day.  Luckily, it appears I haven't gained any weight since my last appointment.

So tonight, I am going to catch up on some blog reading, watch Biggest Loser and hopefully, tomorrow I will be back refreshed and ready to post something good.  :)

Take Care,

Monday, October 5, 2009

A Little History

I know so much about all of your by reading your blogs and archives, that I thought it was only fair to give you a little history about me and my journey to mommyhood.

I have been heavy my entire life.  I always thought my weight was holding me back in life, but in reality it was me holding myself back.  I should have been more self motivated and confident. Instead I was just hosting my own pity party.  I had tried all the diets, with the most successful being my stint on Phen-Fen, getting me down to 240 lbs.  My highest weight is now, 334, as a pregnant woman.  I got easily bored, overwhelmed or distracted on these different diets or lifestyles, so I would just stop doing them.

I never dated much, but then again, I didn't put myself out there.  In my late 20's I had a revelation and decided to start a new life.  I created a list of things I needed to do, and finding a boyfriend was one of the first things on the list.  I started using internet dating sites to find my first boyfriend.  After one unsuccessful long distance relationship, and a few frogs, I finally met the man of my dreams.

Daniel and I met via, and it was an instant connection for us.  We dated for 6 weeks, got engaged and married 3 months later. A whirlwind relationship, that finally made me realize what it means when people say, "when you know, you know".  We have been married for 2.5 years and can't wait for the next 50.  We both gained weight after getting married (don't we all?), bringing me finally to over 300lbs.  Again, starting and stopping the weightloss rollercoasters to loose and gain the same 25 lbs over and over again.

My plan after the baby is to start a new blog, that focuses on being a new mom, trying to get down to a healthy weight, where I am comfortable in my own skin, and just life in general.

I love cruising, watching tv, going to the movies and spending time with my DH and the fur babies. (2 mini schanuzers, Kayla and Klaus). 

I'll end it there, so I don't keep boring you... LOL! 

Next post will about our TTC journey.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


So I had my 28 week appointment today and realized I gained 9 pounds in 4 weeks.  NOT COOL!  My doctor was not happy about it, but not totally rude about it either.  I am supposed to get my butt moving and eating less.  I tried to explain to him that I don't have that I'm eating for two mentality.  I am just lazy, and eating a lot of high calorie junk lately.  I guess it will be good old fashioned salads, protein and lots of water this next month.  Now that it is cooler outside, the hubby and I can start walking again.  Which is really hard these days because Holly is sitting on my bladder and walking is uncomfortable. Not to mention that I constantly feel like I have to pee, but when I go in, nothing comes out.  Super frustrating.

Other than the weight thing, the appointment went very well.  We listened to the heartbeat, which was 150 beats per minute and according to the doctor, perfect.  He also measured my belly for the first time.  He started the measuring tape down at my pubic bone and stretched it too the top of where my uterus is now located (which is up by my spare tire)  I am supposed to measure 1 centimeter for each week, and my measurement was 34 cm.  He thinks I was measuring ahead because of the extra fat, so he was okay with the measurement, not concerned that my baby could be growing too large.  So that was good.

Then we talked about the importance of the cord blood storage.  Working in the healthcare industry and familiar with all the research being conducted on stem cells, I fully understand the importance of investing in the storage of the cord blood.  However, it is super expensive.  I am already dealing with some surprise expenses before the baby and not to mention the fact that I am still trying to work in the extra bucks it will take for a nanny or daycare service when I get back to work.  I am going to keep crunching the numbers and see what else we can possibly cut budget wise to go ahead and store.  I am getting a really good discount from CBR (Coord Blood Registry) for being in the healthcare industry.  So not as expensive as it could be....  I also have the opportunity to create a baby registry with CBR, so people can make a donation towards the fee.  A lot to think about.  I am sure I will write more about it in detail soon.

Speaking of writing soon, I have this bee in my bonnet to write a little more about the histrory of my pregnancy starting with TTC, and the 1st and 2nd trimester.  Not to mention a little history and more formal introduction of who I am.  So keep an eye out for those posts coming soon. :)  I have a lot rattling around in my head, just no time to post these days.  All of you preggo's should understand that completely. LOL!

Well, best of luck to all the new mommies out there.  I have recieved a lot of great comments and emails about blog friends who are now expectings.  I can't wait to read about your journeys as well.

Take Care,

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Fat Fatphobia Give Away

Hi All,
I came across a link to Fat Fatphobia today, who is having a great give away.  You should stop by to check it out.  I was referred to her blog from A Daunting Tale of Scale Warfare, who I also follow.

As you can probably tell from this ungodly hour, that I am still struggling with sleep.  I am routinely getting my 4 hours and waking up.  Tonight, I thought I would catch up on my favorite blogs. 

Also, got the news back on my computer.  It would cost about $250 for a friend of my husband's to fix it.  We were pricing new laptops and thought maybe it would make more financial sense to upgrade my 3 year old unit, and buy a new one... SIGH!  Maybe for Christmas/Birthday.  In the mean time I will keep using my work laptop. 

Monday, September 21, 2009

Gestational Diabetes not for me!

Did I mention at my last appointment I took my one hour glucose test?  I think this little tidbit was forgotten because we found out the baby's gender and jumped right into the nursery shopping and decorations.

I have heard so many horror stories about the drink, about the blood draw, that I wasn't looking forward to it.  The doctor didn't give me any pre-test instructions.  He just said that when I check in for my appointment, the receptionist would give me the drink, follow her instruction and I was to hang around until the hour was up for the blood draw.

My appointment was early morning.  I was only awake 1 hour before arriving.  I had planned on not eating anything before my appointment, so they could get my fasting numbers.  I figured if I ate, it would be too close to the blood draw and it would give me a poor result.  Again, this was my personal preference, not the instruction from the doctor.

Sure enough, I checked in and was promptly given a small bottle of cold, orange flavor, glucose drink.  My only instruction was to drink within 5 minutes and let the receptionist know when I finished.  It tasted as sugary as a flat orange soda, but this one was fizzy.  It went down quickly, no bad aftertaste or gave me any nausea from being so sweet.  Maybe because I have consumed tons of sugar over my lifetime that I wasn't affected by the excess sugar taste?  Not sure, but really didn't see what the big deal was.  If anything, I drank it too fast and got a little heartburn from chugging the fizzy drink.  I let the receptionist know I was done, and she informed the blood pathologist, (they have their own in their office) to start the time.

Timing worked out great, because after a short wait,  we went in for our appointment with the doctor, which ate up most of the hour.  The doctor reminded me to not leave until my blood draw, and that he would call me only if the results came back with GD.  So, no news would be good news. 

About 15 minutes later, the blood pathologist called me in for the blood draw.  She took another 2 vials of blood.   We go straight for the butterfly needle in the hand, because the nurses can never get a good shot of the veins in my arms.  They appear, but are too deep under the skin and flab to easily stick.  It was a quick process.  She just wanted to know if I ate a normal breakfast, which I told her I didn't, and that was the end of it.  No fuss, no muss.

The better news?  It has been 2 weeks at I never did hear from the doctor. so I guess no gestational diabetes for me!  Woo Hoo!  I will get confirmation from the doctor at my next appointment, Sept. 30th.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Flu and broken computer

5 days later and I am just starting to feel human, after the worst attack of the flu ever! I would normally bounce back from something like this pretty quickly, but this little baby of mine just zaps all my usual resources. 

It was great to stay in bed for 4 days straight, but my computer broke and I was without entertainment.  I can only watch so much Home Improvement during the day without going nuts.  I have to get it fixed this week.  Hopefully, it is just the video card and can be easily repaired.  I really don't want to have to buy a new laptop right now, I have baby things to buy.

Monday will start my 27th week.  I am 1 week away from starting my 3rd trimester.  I never thought I would see this day come.  Honestly, the first 20 or so weeks dragged so slowly, and now I must admit they are buzzing by.  I am 13 weeks away from my due date.  Daniel and I like referencing it in weeks, rather than months.  Seems like less time that way. 

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Another Cold

So now I know why I was so tired yesterday.  I woke up this morning with a head that feels as heavy as a bowling ball, body ached so badly I couldn't move, a fever, and swollen eyes.  Yup, I caught another cold.  It hit me out of the blue, like a ton of bricks.  This is the second cold I have experienced with this pregnancy.

I stayed home from work today and tried to get comfortable to sleep as much as I could.  It was hard to find a comfortable position.  The baby was moving constantly too.  I think it was because I was still and the movements were more noticeable.

After work, the hubby brought me home some Tylenol Cold/Flu for day and nightime use, which is on the approved medication list, and some more OJ.  I go through spells of hot and then cold.  It stinks.

On a good note, tonight we could see the baby kicking and my belly rippled.  It was visible to the husband and he was able to feel her move for the first time too.  He was pretty excited about that.  :)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Returning tomorrow

I have been working late the past two nights and am exhausted.  Will update tomorrow. Just wanted to say I balled my eyes out at the first 5 minutes of The Biggest Loser this year.  Abby's story tore me up!  I can't imagine losing my husband and baby so soon.  I don't know how she gets out of bed everyday.  She is getting stronger and I am totally rooting for her.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Panic Hormones

Today was a tough for me.  I know that I easily get upset and worried about things that are beyond my control, but I can't help it.  I feel like I am the only one worrying about these things and if I don't, who will?

Today, I decided to start calling daycare programs to see who had openings for a 3 month old in April or how long the waitlists are.  I have never lived in a place where daycare was so full and difficult to get into.  Well, each place I called had waitlists at least 8 months long and wanted a minimum of $150 to reserve a space on the waitlist.  I started to panic, because I am not sure what I will do come April if none of these places pan out.  I am preparing for the arrival for a baby, so I can't exactly shell out $150 to 10 daycares in hopes I make it into one of them.  Hormones and emotions got to the best of me and I started to cry.  A lot!

I was a mess for a good long hour.  My husband and I moved out here to CA for work.  I am thousands of miles from all family and friends and have no one to lean on.  I don't have the luxury of my mother or MIL living blocks away and can take on the baby for us.  I just have me and my husband.  I am not leaving my job and I don't want Daniel to have to either.  (Plus, I am not going to work with him staying home.  That would just drive me nuts.)  I was upset with myself for taking the job out here and leaving our support system.  Was I stupid to make this move?  All my emotions started pouring out.  Uncontrollably.  Damn hormones!  I was never much of a crier, but now, I easily drop tears.  (I cried over a paint stripe in the nursery for heavens sake!!)

My husband keeps saying we will find a way, not to worry about it now.  My mother said the same thing.  Do they have a point?  I can't sleep at night worrying about what is going to happen in April 2010.  So many events have to take place and life changes with every twist and turn, that by April 2010, any decisions I made today, September 2009, could be irrelevant. 

I just have this overwhelming need to have my ducks in a row.  I am definately a planner, but am I taking it to an extreme?  Maybe the lack of daycare availability is a sign that scenario isn't the best for our family.  Maybe this is a sign that I should be seeking other alternatives.  It took a while for me to calm down, but I eventually did.  I know there are alternatives out there and I will find the right fit for us and the baby. 

I guess the point of this is, I consantly worry now.  I was a worry wart before, but now it is 100 times worse and my reactions are even worse.  I get a little mopey all over things that I cannot fix or handle today. 

Tonight, I am reminded of the movie "Knocked Up", when Seth Rogan screams "F-You Hormones!"  and that is exactly how I feel tonight.  F You Hormones!!  Stop making me nuts, irrational and emotional.  I want to sit back and enjoy this process, not be freaked out and paranoid all the time.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Belly Pics

As of my appointment last week, I have gained 8-10lbs total. I think it is all in the spare tire above my waist. That is the only thing that seems to have noticeably popped on me. Hubby and I have been measuring my waist and I have gained a few inches, but not enough to make a difference in my B belly.

In the "plus size" pregnancy world, my belly is referred to a "B" belly. Where my belly resembles the letter B, the top spare tire, drawn in waist and then protruding fat flab on the bottom. It is every knocked up girls dream to have that nice round basketball belly or a "D" belly. In my message board conversations with other prepregnancy heavy preggos, I learned I am not the only one who still feels like I haven't started showing. It is pretty common and some women don't seem to have that big pop until right up to the time of birth, or not at all.

I want to have that I am showing feeling and want people to notice I am pregnant rather than just another fatty out of control. I have made an effort to wear maternity shirts that make my belly look more round D like and pants that have the bella elastic band, which also smoothes out the look of the B belly. I also touch my belly often and rub. Once I started doing this people started feeling more confident to ask me when I was due. I think they were just cautious before hand, not wanting to offend me if I wasn't pregnant. Which, I thank them for. Nothing is worse than your fatness being mistaken for pregnancy. I have had it happen before and was pretty humiliated.

As for maternity clothes, they are hard to find. I was already pushing out of a 3x, and a 26 pants before I got pregnant, so the standard 3x size maternity clothes don't always fit me. I can still button my pre-pregnancy work pants and have been hanging on to wearing those as long as I can. (Lane Bryant Right Fit Houston Pants, love them!) I find the maternity stretch jeans work well in my favor and most stretchy maternity t-shirts are wearable. Most of the non-stretchy fitted stuff that just has elastic in the middle were already too tight for me and wasn't leaving room for me to grow. Any maternity clothes I have were purchased at Motherhood Maternity outlets. I have been wearing some regular empire waist or baby doll shirts from Lane Bryant as well. Not maternity, but give you that emphasis on the belly. Ok, that was strange to write. I spent my entire life trying to hide my belly and now I am looking for shirts to emphasize it!!!?? That just dawned on me... WOW!

Now, if I can only get my boobs to grow... I always get jipped in the boob department. Compared to other women in my size range, I should be much heavier on top. In fact, most shirts from LB don't fit me right because I can't fill out the top! I thought I was supposed to get big boobs when I got pregnant. Right now, they are the same size, just heavier.  (TMI Alert - My areolas are the size of dinner plates now. They tripled in circumference.)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Yabba Dabba Do Time

Holly is channeling her inner Fred Flintstone and is running in my belly, like Fred does to start his car.  I call it Yabba Dabba Do time.  It feels so strange, but cool at the same time.  I started feeling her around 18 weeks, just a few flutters here and there.  Since I hit 22 weeks, she is extremely active and I feel her kicking and punching.  Over this past weekend, I had my hand on my belly, she punched me and my hand jumped up.  It was wild.  I am still too fluffy for my husband to feel her kicks.  I have noticed my belly is getting a little harder each day and hope that he will be able to feel her soon.

Today marks my first true day of relaxation on my staycation and it was GREAT!  I spent the morning puttering around the house, reading blogs and then took a 2 hour nap.  The sleeping was the main point of this staycation, I needed rest.

Since the start of the 2nd trimester, I have had terrible sleep patterns.  Not only do I have to wake up 5+ times a night to pee, but I am feeling Holly move more, and having some crazy ass dreams.  I tend to wake up after about 5 hours of sleep and stay awake for 3 hours.  Just am wide awake and can't sleep.  I usually fall back asleep around 5 or 6am until I have to get up for work, at 8am.  The erratic schedule is messing up my day and I feel tired all day long. 

I have been reading in the pregnancy books that you are supposed to sleep on your left side when you reach 12 weeks or so, to help proper blood and oxygen flow for the baby.  I asked my doctor about this because I cannot stand to sleep on my side.  My shoulder throbs because of the excess weight put on it, and my hip goes numb.  I am a total back sleeper and am most comfortable that way.  The doctor said to sleep in whatever position makes me comfortable.  The baby or my body will tell me when I need to move to a more comfy position, naturally.  Well, he was right.  I recently find myself shifting to my left or right side and being comfortable there for hours on end.  So strange how your body reacts and adjusts when it needs to.  I still fall asleep on my back, propped up with lots of pillows,  (Imagine an upright position, as if I was sleeping on one of those craftmatic adjustable beds or hospital beds.), but wake up on my side.  Now, if I can only sleep through the night and get over some of these wild dreams... More on those in another post.

Hope everyone is having a good day... Off to relax for the night and catch the new 90210 and Melrose Place.  Bad tv is one of my guilty pleasures.. :)

Monday, September 7, 2009

It's a girl!

Well, a quick update on what has been going on since April... The first trimester was tough. Between working non-stop, morning sickness and just plain feeling terrible, my heart wasn't into writing. I was also pretty obsessed with looking up baby info online. To the point it was making me sad or paranoid. I took some wacky questions to the doctor and he said pregnant women shouldn't be reading for 9 months... LOL! So I stopped. I turned back to reading blogs, this time about weightloss and inspiration and they have been great. They inspired me to go back to blogging. So here I am!

I am officially 25 weeks today and feeling great. We found out last Wednesday we are having a girl, and immediately started to work on the nursery over the weekend. We completed it last night and I must say, it looks great! Thanks to my sister for gifting us the nursery furniture, decorations and of course labor. We never would have something so spectacular if we had to do it on our own.

2nd Trimester has been great. Much better than the 1st, and I love my doctor. Very size friendly and easy going. He only wants me to gain 10 - 15lbs and doesn't harass me about anything. I actually lost weight in the 1st trimester with all the morning sickness. The 2nd trimester I got my appetite back and has been hard to keep it in control. I only want to eat carbs and the bad ones at that! I want white pasta, and french bread. I had been off the white bleached flour prepregnancy and now I have a wild craving for it. Also, my taste for sugar came back and I have a steady supply of cookies or Little Debbies on hand. It is terrible. I do limit my sweet snacks to one or two a day, but I am eating them.

I am on vacation this week and plan on taking a much needed staycation. I will be getting my hair done, perhaps a mani/pedi and catching up on blogging. I started this for a journal of sorts of my pregnancy adventure and am excited to get it going again.

Take Care!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Size Friendly Doctors

I have been reading my Big, Beautiful and Pregnant and Your Plus Size Pregnancy books. They have me freaked out about choosing a size friendly doctor. I had a terrible experience in Miami with this issue...

When I lived in Miami and went to see an OB for consultation before we started trying to conceieve. The Dr in Miami got very upset with her receiptionist when she saw me because she didn't see patients over 250 lbs and her receiptionist knew better. Then, the Dr continued to lecture me about diet and exercise and how she will not treat me because of the weight. I was seeing her practice partner as my GYN and vowed to never step foot in that office again. I was upset, defeated and embarrassed.

So, when I called to make my appointment with the OB here in Pasadena, I forgot to mention that I was a fluffy woman. I got nervous and decided to call them this morning to confirm the Dr sees overweight patients.

I asked the receptionist if Dr. sees overweight patients. She was confused by the question, so I asked her if he has a weight limit for the patients he sees. Again confused, she got someone else on the phone with me, who was also confused by the question. I had to explain to them that I am overweight, and had an experience when I lived in Miami, that the doctors wouldn't treat patients over 250. She thought I was off my rocker and nuts. She said no, the doctor doesn't have issues treating heavier patients and see you on May 20th.

So I hope this means he is size friendly. We shall see May 2oth. I will report back. :)

Sick and random thoughts

I woke up this morning with a terrible head cold. Eyes glued shut, green snot, stuffed nose, sore throat and I am hacking up some nasty bright green stuff from my chest. This is not good.

On the positive side, my nipples don't hurt so much anymore. I don't think I mentioned it before, but hurt so much for the past 4 weeks. Just the nipple, the rest of the breast was fine.

I also notice that oranges and orange juice makes my tummy burn a bit. I am drinking the oj to help combat this cold. I only drink a glass a day, but it is not fun afterward. I noticed the same thing when I ate oranges yesterday for my late afternoon snack.

Today is my 2nd wedding anniversary. Daniel and I are both in bed, typing on our laptops. How romantic! LOL!) I am fighting this cold and he is lovingly by my side to support and help in anyway. He really is an amazing man and I love him more every day. Happy Anniversary Sweetie!! I love you!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Gas, Gas, Gas

April 24, 2009 - I took another test first thing that morning. I had to make sure again. Yup, it was another plus sign. This will probably never get old. LOL!

I gave my mom a call on the way to work and told her the news. I think she was shocked more than anything. Not overly excited as I had imagined. Then again, I have been so cautious about this too, that I haven't exactly been doing jumping jacks. I think I am still in shock too.

She eventually came around and called me throughout the day, showing more and more excitement with each call. She agreed to keep the secret until I can tell the rest of the family, and to keep the secret from friends until I got the go ahead from the Dr. and knew I was in a safe zone to tell everyone.

Throughout the day, I was able to get calls in to my brothers and sister and let them know they were going to be an aunt and uncles. They were happy.

On the symptoms front, no nausea today, but I have been having the worse gas. Burps and toots. It has really been going on for a few weeks now. I am cutting farts left and right. It is pretty gross, but I can't help it. No matter what I eat or drink, I have gas in one way or the other. I am going to be the stinky girl at work if this doesn't stop after a while. It is hard to hold it in during meetings or when I am in the office. I am constantly excusing myself. People must think I have the smallest bladder in the world. LOL! Even worse, sometimes they just slip out. Luckily, my new shoes are squeeky and I can blame the noise on them. LOL!

On the food front, I have been eating pretty healthy. I have continued to eat a lot of fruit and veggies and salads with meals or as snacks. I am opting for fruit as my side dish rather than fries, chips or something else. We had a party at work today and I ate a piece of cake. The sugar made me sick. I don't think I like sugar anymore. Could this be possible? I could come home and eat half a tray of brownies for dinner, and suddenly I don't like sugar? It is like a sugar switch has been turned off. Even the thought of sugar makes me a little queasy. This is GREAT!

I am getting back in the habit of logging all my food into my journal at I want to go to the doctor prepared. I know that some doctors prejudge woman of my weight and will give me the lecture about gestational diabetes. I want to show him how committed i am to the baby and want to take care of myself and him/her. (Also known as Holly or Ringo)

The Next Day

April 23, 2009 - I couldn't sleep last night. I was so conflicted. What if it was true? What if it wasn't? I can't be non-chalant about this, I COULD BE pregnant!! I tossed and turned and noticed I have to get up a lot to pee during the night. I have been doing this quite a bit lately, actually. Hmmm, another sign??!!

6:00am rolls around and I couldn't take it anymore. Daniel was asleep. I threw on some sweats and ran out the door to our local CVS. It is open 24 hours, and is around the corner. I held my first morning urine so I could take this new test and see if there was a change in plus sign status. I picked out the Clearblue Easy 3 pack test, old fashioned, with the plus sign. I don't trust the digital tests and they are more expensive. I get in my car and am back home by 6:30am. I rushed to the bathroom and tinkled on the stick. It seemed almost instantly I saw a plus sign!!!! YIKES!!!! I ran out of the bathroom and woke up Daniel. He smiled and asked if he could be excited yet. LOL!

I told Daniel he could go ahead and tell his family. I couldn't keep this secret and I did promise his mom would be the first to know. I didn't want to tell ANYONE outside of immediate family until I knew for sure and that I was in a safe zone to tell people. I have to get a doctor to confirm this. It's super early. I am probably only 4 weeks at this point. How was I supposed to concentrate at work today? I had a full day of meetings and wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with any of them. I am dying to tell the world, but am also really cautious because I still don't believe it.

Daniel was great this morning. He got up and made me breakfast. An english muffin, a glass of OJ and brought me the folic acid vitamins I was taking a few months back.

I got dressed and headed into work early. I had lots to do. Like find a doctor! Coincidentally, my boss is about 7 months pregnant and has a great OBGYN. She has been ordered on bedrest this week, so I gave her a call at home. She was super excited for me and gave me the number immediately. She did warn me that the OBGYN group won't see anyone until they are at the 8 week mark. Uhhh, I was going to have to wait 8 weeks for confirmation? That was going to suck. I wanted the confirmation so I could start telling everyone.

I called the doctor and make the appointment. They asked me what was the first day of my last period, and I guessed it was around March 23rd. They calculated my 8 week mark should be around May 20th and scheduled my appointment for then. There is no way I can keep this secret for that long! I was going back to Miami to surprise my mom for Mother's Day on May 8th and wanted to break the news then, in person. But I won't have confirmation. Then again, if I didn't have a period by May 8th and my tests still come out positive, I think I would have pretty good odds that I was preggers. LOL!

I went to work and shared my secret with Sherri, by bosses executive assistant. I needed to tell someone and in the event I got sick or something, she would understand why. With my boss on bed rest, I have been helping the team fill in. I didn't want her or my boss to think I was flaking out or something. Sherri convinced me to tell my mom sooner rather than later.

Work was crazy busy as usual. I wanted to tell everyone, but kept my trap shut. I did have two slight spells of nausea. Very short, but did make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I could feel my throat get dry and the saliva thicken. I am going to have to bring snacks to work. I am still peeing like crazy, but I am also drinking a lot of water.

I came home from work, tired but still excited. Daniel had called his mom and she almost cried on the phone. He didn't tell his brother and his girlfriend yet, so we revealed it after dinner. They were very excited for us.

It was getting a little more real to me now. I slept better that night too. I did wake up early though and got up to tinkle a few times. I keep walking past the pregnany tests to make sure they are still positive. I know it is nuts, I just can't help it.

No way, I don't believe it is a plus sign!

April 21, 2009 - I have been expecting my period any day now. It's been strange, I usually have my sweets and salty cravings a few days before my period starts, I of course get very randy the day or two before as well. Nothing. My hubby commented on it as well, he has been waiting for me to jump his bones as usual this time of the month. LOL! Do we think this could be it? Of course, I deny it immediately. No way. I have been down this path too many times the past two years. One slight sign of possible pregnancy, excited as can be, I rush to take a pregnancy test, and nothing. Just another big disappointment. I am too lazy to do the math and see when my period is expected. I don't track it in a calendar, and just know around the 20 something of each month I have a visitor. I vow not to take a test until the end of the month, that way I know for sure that I am late and it could be a possibility.

April 22, 2009 - I think the weather has been effecting me. I have been super hot all week, but husband insists it isn't that warm. He turned on the AC and set it at 68. I refuse to let him touch me because he radiates heat. If my brother in law and his girlfriend (5 months pregnant) weren't staying with us, I might have slept in the guest room. It gets cooler in there.

I came home from work and reviewed the day with the hubby as we were getting ready for bed. I did notice at work today I had a brief spell of nausea. Only lasted about 10 minutes. I got over it and continued on. I also have noticed how completely tired I have been this past month. Hmmmm, that's a coincidence.... I DO have that one last pregnancy test stick under the sink in my bathroom and I do have to tinkle... What the hell, it'll give me the chance to throw that box out now.

Ummm, I THINK that is a plus sign. Can't be... It is really faint. Maybe I am just imagining it. Maybe I want this so much, my mind is playing tricks on me. I have to ask the hubby. I didn't tell him I was taking the test. I don't want to get his hopes up. I must prep him before he sees it.

I called Daniel to the bathroom to show him something. I stopped him at the door and told him that he was under no circumstance to get excited about what I was about to show him. I don't think it is right, but need his opinion. Of course, he immediately starts smiling and doing this thing with his lips whenever he gets excited or sees something he likes. (It's a slight pucker of his lips, so cute! He doesn't even realize he does it.) So I show him the test and he sees the plus sign too. I am in total denial. I emphasize no excitement. The test stick is old, maybe it isn't accurate. It's 10pm at night and it was our last one. We were whispering because the in-laws are here and I don't want them to hear.

I left the test on the bathroom counter and we settle into bed. I told Daniel not to say anything to his brother and tomorrow on the way home from work, I will stop at the drug store to buy another box of tests.